Let's talk about sex, baby.
I've been looking forward to get home to sit at the computer and type this entry, but now that I'm finally here, I realize I'm so worn out from being angry all day that I'm practically forcing myself to write.
*laps up last specks of re-heated Chinese takeout*
Now. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me... Heh.
Sex is a... sensitive subject for me. I'm not an Orthodox Christian, but I do agree that sex should wait 'til marriage. (I'm an old-fashioned kinda girl.) I don't handle well this "if you really love the person..." bullshit. It's even worse when performed without love. Argh. Like I was telling a friend today- I lose respect for people who "didn't wait". Why? Because I see them as people who lack self-control. Who mix up the meaning of love with lust. Who are ruled by their passions and not their intelligence. (Not to mention the health and religious implications I like to throw into the mix.)
I gave the aforementioned friend a cruel verbal lashing when he confessed he'd lost his virginity some months ago. This depressed me. This guy was one of the persons I respected and admired for not succumbing to nymphomaniac's offers of brief pleasure. So to see that he had given up his virginity to a girl he didn't even love, using as an excuse that he was lonely and depressed... well, I got tears in my eyes and I started swearing, saying, "Fuck it! Just fuck it. Everyone can just fuck everybody else, I don't care anymore!"
Am I a drama queen? *shrugs* I was just sad because every day I lose another "ally". Every day I feel more and more alone in my personal philosophies. I felt a little better when he admitted it had been a mistake, and that some things are worth the wait. Also, I was impressed that he hadn't indulged in such acts since. I was under the impression that once you do start, it's practically impossible to stop.
At least I came out of the conversation feeling empowered and confirmed in the fact that some things can wait. Every now and then I get frustrated (but only because I feel so alone in my beliefs). But hey, I'm a "live and let live" kind of person, I might bitch a little bit, but when it comes down to it, I don't expect anybody to accept what I believe. I wouldn't want anybody else imposing their lifestyle on me.
- - - - -
I went to a Christian concert today. Being inside a church makes me edgy and short-tempered. I'm always tense, waiting to flip off anybody who asks me if I have accepted Jesus as my Savior. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't like organized religions. Religion, to me, is a very personal thing, not something to commercialize or to impound into "the ignorant".
I think I was particularly bitter because the church we went to wasn't only an evangelical church- oh no- we went to a Pentecostal church, which is evangelical, only to the tenth power. These are the most vociferous of them all- with their skirt-wearing women banging on tambourines and incessant (and noisy) worship and adoration.
So after about a million repetitions of the phrases Aleluya, gloria a Dios, and *shudder* ¡un grito de júbilo!, we enjoyed some nice Christian rock. I text-messaged Sergei: "Ever wanted to save a damsel in distress? I'm in an evangelical church: SAVE ME!!!". Minutes later I received his reply: "Dios te bendiga." God bless you. (Which, coming from an atheist, wasn't very supportive.
I think I've let off enough steam for now.
P.S. If I have offended anybody's beliefs, religious and/or otherwise... el que se pica es porque ají come. Truth hurts, bitches. Deal!
*laps up last specks of re-heated Chinese takeout*
Now. Let's talk about sex, baby. Let's talk about you and me... Heh.
Sex is a... sensitive subject for me. I'm not an Orthodox Christian, but I do agree that sex should wait 'til marriage. (I'm an old-fashioned kinda girl.) I don't handle well this "if you really love the person..." bullshit. It's even worse when performed without love. Argh. Like I was telling a friend today- I lose respect for people who "didn't wait". Why? Because I see them as people who lack self-control. Who mix up the meaning of love with lust. Who are ruled by their passions and not their intelligence. (Not to mention the health and religious implications I like to throw into the mix.)
I gave the aforementioned friend a cruel verbal lashing when he confessed he'd lost his virginity some months ago. This depressed me. This guy was one of the persons I respected and admired for not succumbing to nymphomaniac's offers of brief pleasure. So to see that he had given up his virginity to a girl he didn't even love, using as an excuse that he was lonely and depressed... well, I got tears in my eyes and I started swearing, saying, "Fuck it! Just fuck it. Everyone can just fuck everybody else, I don't care anymore!"
Am I a drama queen? *shrugs* I was just sad because every day I lose another "ally". Every day I feel more and more alone in my personal philosophies. I felt a little better when he admitted it had been a mistake, and that some things are worth the wait. Also, I was impressed that he hadn't indulged in such acts since. I was under the impression that once you do start, it's practically impossible to stop.
At least I came out of the conversation feeling empowered and confirmed in the fact that some things can wait. Every now and then I get frustrated (but only because I feel so alone in my beliefs). But hey, I'm a "live and let live" kind of person, I might bitch a little bit, but when it comes down to it, I don't expect anybody to accept what I believe. I wouldn't want anybody else imposing their lifestyle on me.
- - - - -
I went to a Christian concert today. Being inside a church makes me edgy and short-tempered. I'm always tense, waiting to flip off anybody who asks me if I have accepted Jesus as my Savior. I consider myself a Christian, but I don't like organized religions. Religion, to me, is a very personal thing, not something to commercialize or to impound into "the ignorant".
I think I was particularly bitter because the church we went to wasn't only an evangelical church- oh no- we went to a Pentecostal church, which is evangelical, only to the tenth power. These are the most vociferous of them all- with their skirt-wearing women banging on tambourines and incessant (and noisy) worship and adoration.
11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.
12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
1 Kings 19:11-13
So after about a million repetitions of the phrases Aleluya, gloria a Dios, and *shudder* ¡un grito de júbilo!, we enjoyed some nice Christian rock. I text-messaged Sergei: "Ever wanted to save a damsel in distress? I'm in an evangelical church: SAVE ME!!!". Minutes later I received his reply: "Dios te bendiga." God bless you. (Which, coming from an atheist, wasn't very supportive.
I think I've let off enough steam for now.
P.S. If I have offended anybody's beliefs, religious and/or otherwise... el que se pica es porque ají come. Truth hurts, bitches. Deal!
posted by Kaede at 10:20 PM
1 Comments:
-lol
-loved the post
-no, you will not get me to write in a linear manner :P
-as for sexxin'
-Like the wise Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch said (SNL)
-"sex can wait, masturbate"
-(what the hell, para uno, mejor el otro).
-As for the church
-I feel your pain
-my parents used to go to a pentecostal church when I was a child.
-I had no text-messaging services at the time
-So I'd do the next best thing: clasp my hands over my ears and scream ^_^
-Finally, as for the quote
-trü dat, first time I see it since my mom said it to me in a discussion about "da un grito de jubilo" (promptly causing my leave from the last church I attended ^_^).
zheke you,
Gil
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